Beth Kanter and I are not twins who were separated at birth, but we have some things in common.
- Distant past: We both graduated from Bennington College. (She was a couple of years ahead of me.)
- More recent past: We both joined the circuit rider movement and became nonprofit technology professionals. (She was a couple of years ahead of me here as well.)
- Present: We both have been thinking a lot lately about the power of acknowledging failure. (She’s written much more on this topic than I have.)
So perhaps if we were twins, I wouldn’t be the evil twin (I hope) but the lagging twin. She’s succeeding at writing in a very engaging and helpful way about failure, and I am definitely benefiting from that. Thinking about how to acknowledge failure flows very naturally from my current absorption in outcomes management for nonprofit organizations.
Beth recently published a blog article on “Six Ways Nonprofits Learn from Affordable Losses or Little Bets to Improve Impact” that appealed to me greatly, mostly because some the practices described have a ritual component.
I was especially excited when I saw that Beth had included the “Joyful Funeral” custom that was created by Moms Rising. I had heard rumors of this ritual in nonprofit management circles, but couldn’t remember the details. Fortunately, Beth’s article includes a cool video, in which she interviews Ashley Boyd about what it really entails.
Now, unlike Beth, I studied sociology of religion as a graduate student, and have a longstanding interest in ritual studies. Regardless of one’s religious beliefs and affiliation – or lack thereof – it’s easy to see that ritual often has great power in assisting human communities that are confronted by change or loss.
Let’s look at the characteristic stages of a “rite of passage:”
- Detachment or withdrawal from the status quo
- Reincorporation into the social group
Likewise, consider a purification ritual, in which the transition in question is from an “unclean” to a “clean” state.
I propose that we think of a joyful funeral as a combination of passage and purification. The individual or organization has an opportunity to mark the change (which may also be a loss) from a viable initiative to a failure, to acknowledge shortcomings, to mourn, to be supported by the community, and to achieve closure, and to begin the next stage of life.
Many people are left cold by any kind of ritual, and others are put off by the links between elaborate ritual and religious institutions from which they are alienated. For that reason, I would never argue that a joyful funeral (or any of the other celebrations of failure that Beth describes) should be attempted by everyone. But for many of us, a ritual can be a comfort, especially if it doesn’t demand that we buy into a dogma or denomination. A ritual can also be goofy and fun.
I like the idea of building laughter without humiliation into a ritual acknowledgement of failure. It’s less scary and less punitive than a solemn occasion, and better for strengthening ties among the team and making it fun to learn from mistakes. For this reason, I recommend the “DoSomething PinkBoa FailFest” to beginners in the art of failing and moving on.
Bonus item: a joke for people who take ritual a little too seriously.
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.